• Has he/she stopped being violent or threatening towards you or others?
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• Does he/she still make you feel afraid when you are with them?
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• Is he/she able to be angry without becoming verbally or physically abusive?
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• Are you able to express your anger toward him/her without being attacked?
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• Is he/she able to hear and respect what you are saying even though they might not agree?

• Can he/she negotiate with you without being accusatory or controlling?
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• Can he/she respect your right to say "no"?
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• Is he/she able to let you know what they are feeling most of the time?
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• Is he/she able to express feelings other than anger?
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• Does he/she still make you responsible for their anger and frustrations?
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• Does he/she respect your right to be different and to make your own decisions?
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• Do you feel respected and listened to?Can you go out, go to school or get a job without his/her "permission"?

This is not meant to be a judgment of the person's decision but rather concrete things he/she may not have thought about before.

Emotional Support: Sometimes he/she may just need to talk and receive support or begin the process of looking at what his/her options are. He/she may not make any decisions right now; this may be his/her first step to making decisions.

Information: He/She may want information about services available to him/her in the community. Let them know what sponsors and support groups might provide him/her with the support and information they need.