PRAYER OF ONESELF
Author: Edward M. Hays -Taken From: "Secular
Sanctity"
This is a story about the Our Father. As all stories seem to
do, it begins many years ago in happy days. In that time, the Our
Father lived a comfortable, religious life. He prayed at rosary wakes
and was present at both morning and evening prayers. It seemed that
he was a perpetual prayer at times of confessional penance where he
usually appeared in sets of three: "Say three Hail Mary's and three
Our Father's." He was always an important part of every Mass, whether
he was recited or sung. His prayer in Latin rang out strongly, "Pater
Noster, quies in caelis..." Many years ago, he was secure and
comfortable, and the Our Father was at peace with his spiritual life.
Then came the mid-sixties and its great ground-swell of change. For
the past ten years or so, he had begun to experience feelings of
doubt about his prayer life. A sense of hollowness and a lack of
meaning had become like a shadow that overcast him each time he went
to pray. Whatever, the reason, he now began to pray from the sense of
obligation. It was his duty, his responsibility, to pray, but deep
within his heart he knew that this could not be a true motive for
long. Since at heart he was a deeply spiritual person, he decided
that something must be done about his problem with prayer!
He began by reading books on "How to Pray". He read articles
and attended conferences - but without success. He made a 30-day
Jesuit-directed retreat. While it was an excellent experience, at the
end of the 30 days he felt that he still had his problem. Next, he
became a member of a Charismatic Prayer Group. He was baptized in the
Spirit and even received the gift of tongues; yet it seemed that his
prayer life was incomplete. Since the hollowness remained, he now
sought out an Indian Guru and became his devoted disciple. Hours on
end he would sit in the lotus position and meditate. He stopped
eating meat and learned yoga. While feeling a sense of peacefulness
in life, he still felt incomplete whenever he went to
prayer.
His search for meaning in prayer expanded as he made a
Marriage Encounter and then a Cursillo Weekend. These were all to no
purpose, as his prayer life remained as barren as the Sahara. So in
frustration, like so many others, he completely abandoned praying and
became involved in social reform. He marched with the Farm Workers,
with Women's Right's groups and joined ecologists at sit-ins at
nuclear power plants. While doing good and feeling needed, his
emptiness at prayer was still part of him. After having tried so many
different methods, he finally gave up on methods and simply retreated
to the Rocky Mountains. There in a lonely cabin he lived for a year
in solitude as a hermit.
The year of solitude came to an end and he began his journey
on foot down the mountain. He was aware that his problem with prayer,
like a shadow, was still with him, and a great sadness filled his
heart. Suddenly, a thunderstorm broke overhead and the rain began to
descend like a river. Seeking to escape the downfall, he sought
shelter in an old mountain cabin. The cabin was perched on a giant
rock beside a roaring mountain stream. It was pale grey with age and
in the doorway stood an equally aged old man. The cabin and the man's
clothing indicated that he had not found any gold or silver, but his
eyes danced with an inner light that revealed he had found a more
valuable treasure. The old man welcomed the wet and dripping stranger
into his cabin. The rain-soaked clothing was hanging on the back of a
three-legged chair that stood by the wood-burning stove. As he sipped
a cup of tea and warmed himself by the stove, the stranger decided
that he would share his story of frustration with the old man. He
told the old mountain man of his numerous attempts to find a way to
pray, his futile attempts at various methods, and even his long years
in solitude. At the end of the story, the old man said, "I didn't
catch your name, stranger." "My name is 'Our Father' although some
call me "The Lord's Prayer." The old man arched his eyebrows like a
roller coaster and said, "Why, son, you are prayer. You don't have to
learn how to pray. You simply have to be who you are!"
And he continued, "I am a prospector and my trade is to look
for gold. But I have learned that there are many kinds of gold.
Things like wisdom and truth, as well as those little pieces of
yellow rock, are kinds of gold. For the past thirty years, I have
searched for gold in that mountain stream out there, and I have also
searched in those." With that, he pointed to the other end of the
cabin. From the floor to the ceiling there were shelves upon shelves
of books. There were books of all sizes and shapes, the old man stood
up from his chair by the fire and walked over to the book-lined wall.
With care he took down a large, leather-bound volume with a faded
letter "A" on its binding. He carried the book back to the stove and
opened it to a certain page. He handed it to the man and said, "Here,
read this. Perhaps your problem is not one of method but rather it is
something else."
As the rain drummed away on the cabin roof, the weary pilgrim
of prayer read, "Aphasis: one of the most serious problems of speech
resulting from brain damage or inadequate functioning of the nervous
system. This illness shows itself in persons who are unable to speak.
The person knows the words he wants to say but cannot negotiate them
in speech. Such a person is said to be word-deaf. Aphasia as an
illness is caused by an injury to the head. This injury can be a blow
or a fall, or perhaps a brain tumor or stroke. The illness can also
be congenital." He closed the book and looked perplexed as he handed
it back again to the old man.
"You are prayer," said the old prospector. "You are a special
and a sacred word of God made flesh. To pronounce your own unique
word is to pray the most beautiful, if not holiest, of prayers. You
are like the other victims of aphasia. You suffer from the inability
to pronounce yourself-to make flesh your own word! Don't feel bad; it
is a worldwide sickness and an ancient disease caused by a 'fall'. In
you, like all the others, it is congenital and passed on at
birth."
The old man rose from his chair and poured his guest another
cup of tea and continued, "The first word of God made flesh was
creation. God said 'sun' and it became flesh--real. And so on with
moon, stars, trees, flowers; they became living prayers. Then God
thought a most beautiful thought. God spoke the word and the word
became flesh--Adam and Eve. They became Gods' first human prayers
made flesh. But then there came this 'fall', this original injury
that has been passed down from generation to generation. People
became unable to pronounce their own word. They were, and they are,
--word-deaf. God doesn't create things; God only creates prayers.
Men, women, bugs, grass, birds, and flowers are created prayers of
God. All of them, each of them, are inspirations of God made flesh or
feather or fin. To learn how to pray is to learn how to pronounce
your own sacred word-to speak yourself! To learn to pray is not to
learn some method. It is to know who you are and to be who you are
supposed to be. For example, Jesus was a prayerful man, not because
he prayed prayers, which he did, but because he was a prayer! Jesus
was true to the Word that came from his Father, the Word that was
himself. In being faithful to who he was supposed to be, he found a
cure for the ancient sickness of aphasia. That cure lies in speech
therapy and in being true to his word and to your word. Remember, he
said, 'Anyone who loves me will be true to my word."
There was silence in the old cabin as the stranger thought
about what had been said by the old man. Finally he spoke. "I
understand, I think, but how do I cure myself of this aphasia?" The
old man twisted his white beard in his fingertips and said, "First,
you must learn to be quiet both outside and inside. There is so much
shouting today and so much noise that folks cannot hear their own
special unique words. Everyone seems to be shouting who you should be
so loudly that it is difficult to hear for yourself your own special
word. A million star-years ago, God whispered in the soul of everyone
a sacred and unique word. It continues to vibrate, but oh so softly,
so softly! Therefore, your speech therapy must begin with the therapy
of no speech---of silence. For only if you are quiet will you hear
your own word that resounds within you. You must find quiet places
and learn how to be quiet within if you wish to hear you special
word.
The next part of you therapy is learning how to pronounce the
word once you hear it. That is the difficult part of the cure, being
true to your special personality. You can begin by being grateful for
yourself. You must be deeply thankful that you exist, that the earth
is more beautiful, simply by your presence. This part of the cure is
most important. You must see yourself as you are - beautiful and
good. Everything about the original you is to be seen as good. God
does not have bad ideas!!"
Continued next page click here.
Web Design by Pantherpaw Designs Copyright © 2001
Copyright © 2001 - Inpsyte.ca
All Rights Reserved